her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
