I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
only if we run a train.
done.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
