The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
