Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
