I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
