the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
