she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
