You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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