I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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