I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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