The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
