I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
