so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
