I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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