We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
