they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
