what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
