thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize