Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
