so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
