You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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