his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
