Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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