i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
40s are totally the cure
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
