I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
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I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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