its not stalking. its research.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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