no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
