i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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