Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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