we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
