WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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