Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize