I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
