No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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