VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
