But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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