return my video game
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
