some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
