I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
