I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
