If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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