Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
All I want is dick and wine.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
