We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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