The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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