but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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