Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
