Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
