woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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