I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
