there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
