Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
