remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just gargled with NyQuil
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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