i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize