i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
