yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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